Jim Mielke - Core77's Greener Gadgets Design Competition 2008

 

Digital Tattoo Interface

Jim Mielke - United States

Her cell phone is ringing, but the display is turned off. She lightly pushes a small dot on the skin on her left forearm to suddenly reveal a two by four inch tattoo with the image of the cell phone's digital display, directly in the skin of her arm. She answers the call by pushing a tattooed button on her arm. While she's talking, the tattoo comes to life as a digital video of the caller. When she finishes, the tattoo disappears.

This Bluetooth device is permanently implanted beneath the skin. It is flat, flexible, silicon and silicone. Tightly rolled when it's inserted through a small incision, and then unfurled beneath the skin, it lies benignly between skin and muscle.

Through the same incision, two small tubes are attached from the implanted device to an artery and a vein. A coin sized blood fuel cell in the implant converts the blood's glucose and oxygen from the artery to the electricity required to power the device. Used blood returns through to the vein. The digital device's power source is the same as for all of the biological components in the body.

The surface of the implant that faces the underside of the skin is covered with a matrix of field producing pixels that activate a matching matrix of pixels tattooed onto the surface of the skin above the implant. The field penetrates the skin to drive the tattooed display, while the skin continues to provide its function of sealing the body from the world. The surface of the implant is also a touch screen control, pressed through the skin. Rather than ink, tiny clusters of microscopic spheres are injected, like tattoo ink, into the skin. Each sphere is filled with a field sensitive material that changes from clear to black when a field in the matrix is turned on.

This device communicates wirelessly with the world as well as with other devices implanted in the same body. It is always present, always on, but out of sight and non-obtrusive. It also continually monitors for many blood disorders, alerting the person of a health problem: A human version of the check engine light. Product styling is the latest and coolest downloaded display interface showing on any tattoo on the block. This product is waterproof and it is powered by pizza.

Jim Mielke - Core77's Greener Gadgets Design Competition 2008

The 800lb enema - Telegraph

 

The monument had cost the spa £21,000 Photo: AP

The 5ft tall sculpture, a bronze syringe bulb held aloft by three Botticelli-style angels, was revealed at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa in the southern city of Zheleznovodsk.

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko, the spa's director, said. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

The Caucasus mountains region is famous in Russia for dozens of health spas. Many offer enemas with water drawn from mineral springs, that are said to treat digestive and other complaints.

Mr Kharchenko said the monument had cost the spa £21,000. It was installed in a square in front of his spa, with an accompanying banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas" posted on one of the spa's walls.

The sculptor, Svetlana Avakina, said she had designed the monument with "irony and humour" in mind and was inspired by the works of Italian Renaissance painter, Alessandro Botticelli.

"This device is eternal, it will never change," she said. "We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."

 

The 800lb enema - Telegraph

Snakes that massage your body

 

This spa is a one with a wild twist and is definitely not for the faint-hearted.

Ada Barak's spa in the north of Israel offers its guests a chance to be massaged by snakes.

Barak, who uses California and Florida King snakes, corn snakes and milk snakes in her treatments, says she was inspired by her belief that once people get over any initial misgivings, they find physical contact with the creatures to be soothing.

During the massage, which costs 300 shekels ($A89.85), Barak releases six non-venomous snakes onto the backs of her customers and allows them to slither around.

It is said that the massage has a therapeutic effect on aching muscles and stiff joints.

"I'm actually afraid of snakes, but the therapeutic effects are really good," customer Liz Cohen told Reuters Television as Barak let the snakes loose on her body.

Pics: Snakes that massage your body

Stunning Ring Pepper Spray

 

Something to protect yourself with

THE STUNNING RING™ pepper spray ring is designed to be worn on either hand on the 1st (index) or 2nd finger preferably your dominant hand, with the thumb (or other hand if necessary) accessible to operate the safety latch and depress the trigger. The pepper spray comes out of the front of the ring next to the stone. A safety slide locks the trigger button in place until you are ready to fire.
Black Onyx Stone set in silver or gold plated pepper spray ring.

Defence Devices

Penis Facts, The Dangerous Diva

Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons

Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons. (Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons)

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour(Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour)

Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
(Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150)

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches

Average length when erect: 5.1

Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch

Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches

Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)

Height from court floor to the rim of a basketball hoop: 10 feet

Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall

Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start exercising, lose weight.

Foods that improve sex life: oysters, lean meat, seafood, whole grains, wheat germ, chicken fingers from Erie dining hall

Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%

Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%

Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2weeks

Average # of erections per day for a man: 11

Average # of erections during the night: 9

Time it takes an average person to complete a marathon: 4 hours

Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development to ejaculation)

Cost of a year's supply of condoms: $100

Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm

Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm

In general, the taste of a man's semen varies with his diet. Some say that the alkaline-based foods (fish and some meats) produce a buttery or fishy taste. Dairy products can create a foul taste; the taste of semen after eating asparagus is said to be the foulest. ACIDIC FRUITS AND ALCOHOL (EXCEPT PROCESSED LIQUORS) GIVE IT A PLEASANT AND SUGARY TASTE. Examples:
oranges, mangos, kiwi, lemons, grapefruit, limes, etc. (drinking a Corona with lime is double the fun)

Odours that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie

Yes, the penis does shrink in cold water

It is common for men to wake up with 'morning wood', a name for an a.m. erection

Blue balls, or the term a man uses when he says his balls will explode if he doesn't have sex, is totally false

Is There Such A Thing As The Perfect Man?

One who does all the heavy scrubbing
when you don't want to?

One who does the shopping for you
and gets everything that YOU like??

One that is soooooo good in the kitchen
that he tells you he would rather do it??

One who says, "Honey, I'll get up at night....
you sleep... you did the hard part already??

One who takes care of all the pressing needs?

And is STILL ready to take care of
YOUR needs when you have them?

Sorry Ladies.. I'm afraid that
he just doesn't exist!!!!!!

famous last words

 

"It seemed like such a good idea at the time" 

"Honey, get me a fork the darn toaster's jammed!"

"Don't worry, I read somewhere that bears mostly eat roots and berries."

"So, you're a cannibal."

"Why am I standing on a plastic sheet?"

"Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press."

"This doesn't taste right."

"These are the good kind of mushrooms."

"Did you hear thunder? Oh well hurry up and putt."

"Let's split up, we'll cover more ground."

"Why yes honey, I do think you look fat in that dress."

"See? I told you the current's off."

"Either the wallpaper goes or I do."

"For my next trick I will escape from this flaming coffin while wearing a straight jacket and singing Eye Of The Tiger."

"I'll get a world record for this."

"Hey there's no handles inside these car doors!"

"Gee, that's a cute tattoo."

"It's fireproof."

"He's probably just hibernating."

"What does this button do?"

"I'm making a citizen's arrest."

"Are you sure the power is off?"

"No, my shoes aren't untied."

"The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!"

"What duck?"

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Which wire was I supposed to cut?"

"I wonder where the mother bear is."

"I've seen this done on TV."

"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."

"What's that priest doing here?"

"You look just like Charles Manson."

"Let it down slowly."

"Rat poison only kills rats."

"Give me liberty or give me death".

"It's strong enough for both of us."

"That birthmark on your head looks like 999."

"I can make this light before it changes."

"I can do that with my eyes closed."

"I've done this before."

"Well we've made it this far."

"Hey that's not a violin."

"I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second."

"OK this is the last time."

"Don't be so superstitious."

 

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."

-Johnny Carson

What Facts Have Scientists Come Up With now!

HALF OF ALL WOMEN MAKE THEIR MINDS UP WITHIN 30 SECONDS OF MEETING A MAN WHETHER HE IS WORTH DATING

Researchers, led by Professor Richard Wiseman, of Hertfordshire University, highlighted the importance of chat-up lines with the top- rated "Casanova" line apparently being: "If you were on Stars In Their Eyes, who would you be?" Professor Wiseman said men were often accused of being shallow but that women may make their minds up much more quickly.

 PINNING A PICTURE OF CUT-OUT EYES TO A WALL MAKES YOU MORE LIKELY TO PAY INTO THE OFFICE KITTY

A cut-out of a staring pair of eyes was put above a kettle to assess its impact on freeloaders who don't contribute to the office tea-fund kitty. The ten-week project by the University of Newcastle upon Tyne's psychology department involved alternating the eye pictures with one of flowers then totting up cash left in the honesty box. When the staring eyes were in operation, takings were three times more. Researchers said the experiment showed how the brain reacts to images of faces and eyes and how people behave differently if they think they are being watched.

WOMEN DON'T GO FOR MEN WITH SQUEAKY VOICES WHEN LOOKING FOR A MATE BUT WILL GIVE THEM THE TIME OF DAY AT OTHER TIMES

Dr David Feinberg, of the University of St Andrews, found that during their fertile phase women want an "alpha male" who sounded like soul singer Barry White but the rest of the time homed in on men with "James Blunt" higher pitches whom they perceived as being more caring. Dr David Feinberg concluded: "While we normally think that masculine men are more out for one-night stands than marriage, our research suggests that highly attractive and feminine women can get these masculine men to look for commitment."

Gorillas Do It People-Style

This pair of wild western lowland gorillas (nicknamed George and Leah) have the distinction of providing the proof that “people-style” is an alternative to “doggie-style” among our nearest animal relatives. Other than bonobos, whose notorious sexual proclivities may have served as inspiration for the Kama Sutra.

NZ 'f-word' town censored on internet

August 01, 2008

 

THE New Zealand town of Whakatane has been censored in cyberspace because the pronunciation of the word is close to the f-word.

The censorship was uncovered when a visitor to the tourist town on the east coast of the North Island tried to connect to the local council's wireless service Freenet.
His internet searches for “Whakatane” were rejected, with the Freenet website offering the explanation that “the content is filtered so this service is for legitimate use”.
Whakatane District Council spokesman Barney Dzowa said the problem lay with the pronunciation of the town's name where the “wh” takes an “f” sound.
“The content filter is an American-based product, and it does a phonetic analysis of what has been typed in,” he said.
“Whakatane, to the system, sounds like an f-word.”
However, now that the problem has been discovered, the council has had the name added to a list of words capable of overriding the content filter.
AFP

The Australian

On our trip to New Zealand we found that some of the place names did sound a bit funny when pronounced correctly. One such place was Whakapapa Ski Field. Pronounced correctly it is said F***apapa.