How to Look After Baby

     

Jim Mielke - Core77's Greener Gadgets Design Competition 2008

 

Digital Tattoo Interface

Jim Mielke - United States

Her cell phone is ringing, but the display is turned off. She lightly pushes a small dot on the skin on her left forearm to suddenly reveal a two by four inch tattoo with the image of the cell phone's digital display, directly in the skin of her arm. She answers the call by pushing a tattooed button on her arm. While she's talking, the tattoo comes to life as a digital video of the caller. When she finishes, the tattoo disappears.

This Bluetooth device is permanently implanted beneath the skin. It is flat, flexible, silicon and silicone. Tightly rolled when it's inserted through a small incision, and then unfurled beneath the skin, it lies benignly between skin and muscle.

Through the same incision, two small tubes are attached from the implanted device to an artery and a vein. A coin sized blood fuel cell in the implant converts the blood's glucose and oxygen from the artery to the electricity required to power the device. Used blood returns through to the vein. The digital device's power source is the same as for all of the biological components in the body.

The surface of the implant that faces the underside of the skin is covered with a matrix of field producing pixels that activate a matching matrix of pixels tattooed onto the surface of the skin above the implant. The field penetrates the skin to drive the tattooed display, while the skin continues to provide its function of sealing the body from the world. The surface of the implant is also a touch screen control, pressed through the skin. Rather than ink, tiny clusters of microscopic spheres are injected, like tattoo ink, into the skin. Each sphere is filled with a field sensitive material that changes from clear to black when a field in the matrix is turned on.

This device communicates wirelessly with the world as well as with other devices implanted in the same body. It is always present, always on, but out of sight and non-obtrusive. It also continually monitors for many blood disorders, alerting the person of a health problem: A human version of the check engine light. Product styling is the latest and coolest downloaded display interface showing on any tattoo on the block. This product is waterproof and it is powered by pizza.

Jim Mielke - Core77's Greener Gadgets Design Competition 2008

The 800lb enema - Telegraph

 

The monument had cost the spa £21,000 Photo: AP

The 5ft tall sculpture, a bronze syringe bulb held aloft by three Botticelli-style angels, was revealed at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa in the southern city of Zheleznovodsk.

"There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art," Alexander Kharchenko, the spa's director, said. "An enema is almost a symbol of our region."

The Caucasus mountains region is famous in Russia for dozens of health spas. Many offer enemas with water drawn from mineral springs, that are said to treat digestive and other complaints.

Mr Kharchenko said the monument had cost the spa £21,000. It was installed in a square in front of his spa, with an accompanying banner declaring: "Let's beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas" posted on one of the spa's walls.

The sculptor, Svetlana Avakina, said she had designed the monument with "irony and humour" in mind and was inspired by the works of Italian Renaissance painter, Alessandro Botticelli.

"This device is eternal, it will never change," she said. "We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors."

 

The 800lb enema - Telegraph

Snakes that massage your body

 

This spa is a one with a wild twist and is definitely not for the faint-hearted.

Ada Barak's spa in the north of Israel offers its guests a chance to be massaged by snakes.

Barak, who uses California and Florida King snakes, corn snakes and milk snakes in her treatments, says she was inspired by her belief that once people get over any initial misgivings, they find physical contact with the creatures to be soothing.

During the massage, which costs 300 shekels ($A89.85), Barak releases six non-venomous snakes onto the backs of her customers and allows them to slither around.

It is said that the massage has a therapeutic effect on aching muscles and stiff joints.

"I'm actually afraid of snakes, but the therapeutic effects are really good," customer Liz Cohen told Reuters Television as Barak let the snakes loose on her body.

Pics: Snakes that massage your body

Stunning Ring Pepper Spray

 

Something to protect yourself with

THE STUNNING RING™ pepper spray ring is designed to be worn on either hand on the 1st (index) or 2nd finger preferably your dominant hand, with the thumb (or other hand if necessary) accessible to operate the safety latch and depress the trigger. The pepper spray comes out of the front of the ring next to the stone. A safety slide locks the trigger button in place until you are ready to fire.
Black Onyx Stone set in silver or gold plated pepper spray ring.

Defence Devices

Penis Facts, The Dangerous Diva

Actual amount of semen per ejaculation: 1-2 teaspoons

Average number of times a man will ejaculate in his lifetime: 7,200

Average # of times he will ejaculate from masturbation: 2,000

Average total amount of lifetime ejaculate: 14 gallons. (Average amount of water it takes to fill a bathtub: 35 gallons)

Average speed of ejaculation: 28 miles per hour(Average speed of a city bus: 25 miles per hour)

Average # of calories in a teaspoon of semen: 7
(Average # of calories in a can of Dr. Pepper: 150)

Average length of penis when not erect: 3.5 inches

Average length when erect: 5.1

Smallest natural penis recorded: 5/8 of an inch

Largest natural penis recorded: 11 inches

Largest penis in the animal kingdom: 11 feet (blue whale)

Height from court floor to the rim of a basketball hoop: 10 feet

Most arousing time of day/season for a man: early morning/fall

Best ways to improve sexual function: quit smoking, start exercising, lose weight.

Foods that improve sex life: oysters, lean meat, seafood, whole grains, wheat germ, chicken fingers from Erie dining hall

Percent of men who say they masturbate: 60%

Percent of men who say they masturbate at least once a day: 54%

Percent of men who say they feel guilty masturbating that often: 41%

Amount of time needed for a man to regain erection: from 2 min to 2weeks

Average # of erections per day for a man: 11

Average # of erections during the night: 9

Time it takes an average person to complete a marathon: 4 hours

Sperm life: 2 1/2 months (from development to ejaculation)

Cost of a year's supply of condoms: $100

Thickness of the average condom: .07 mm

Thickness of super-thin condoms: .05 mm

In general, the taste of a man's semen varies with his diet. Some say that the alkaline-based foods (fish and some meats) produce a buttery or fishy taste. Dairy products can create a foul taste; the taste of semen after eating asparagus is said to be the foulest. ACIDIC FRUITS AND ALCOHOL (EXCEPT PROCESSED LIQUORS) GIVE IT A PLEASANT AND SUGARY TASTE. Examples:
oranges, mangos, kiwi, lemons, grapefruit, limes, etc. (drinking a Corona with lime is double the fun)

Odours that increase blood flow to the penis: lavender, licorice, chocolate, doughnuts, pumpkin pie

Yes, the penis does shrink in cold water

It is common for men to wake up with 'morning wood', a name for an a.m. erection

Blue balls, or the term a man uses when he says his balls will explode if he doesn't have sex, is totally false

Is There Such A Thing As The Perfect Man?

One who does all the heavy scrubbing
when you don't want to?

One who does the shopping for you
and gets everything that YOU like??

One that is soooooo good in the kitchen
that he tells you he would rather do it??

One who says, "Honey, I'll get up at night....
you sleep... you did the hard part already??

One who takes care of all the pressing needs?

And is STILL ready to take care of
YOUR needs when you have them?

Sorry Ladies.. I'm afraid that
he just doesn't exist!!!!!!

famous last words

 

"It seemed like such a good idea at the time" 

"Honey, get me a fork the darn toaster's jammed!"

"Don't worry, I read somewhere that bears mostly eat roots and berries."

"So, you're a cannibal."

"Why am I standing on a plastic sheet?"

"Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press."

"This doesn't taste right."

"These are the good kind of mushrooms."

"Did you hear thunder? Oh well hurry up and putt."

"Let's split up, we'll cover more ground."

"Why yes honey, I do think you look fat in that dress."

"See? I told you the current's off."

"Either the wallpaper goes or I do."

"For my next trick I will escape from this flaming coffin while wearing a straight jacket and singing Eye Of The Tiger."

"I'll get a world record for this."

"Hey there's no handles inside these car doors!"

"Gee, that's a cute tattoo."

"It's fireproof."

"He's probably just hibernating."

"What does this button do?"

"I'm making a citizen's arrest."

"Are you sure the power is off?"

"No, my shoes aren't untied."

"The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!"

"What duck?"

"Pull the pin and count to what?"

"Which wire was I supposed to cut?"

"I wonder where the mother bear is."

"I've seen this done on TV."

"I'll hold it and you light the fuse."

"What's that priest doing here?"

"You look just like Charles Manson."

"Let it down slowly."

"Rat poison only kills rats."

"Give me liberty or give me death".

"It's strong enough for both of us."

"That birthmark on your head looks like 999."

"I can make this light before it changes."

"I can do that with my eyes closed."

"I've done this before."

"Well we've made it this far."

"Hey that's not a violin."

"I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second."

"OK this is the last time."

"Don't be so superstitious."

 

"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead."

-Johnny Carson

What Facts Have Scientists Come Up With now!

HALF OF ALL WOMEN MAKE THEIR MINDS UP WITHIN 30 SECONDS OF MEETING A MAN WHETHER HE IS WORTH DATING

Researchers, led by Professor Richard Wiseman, of Hertfordshire University, highlighted the importance of chat-up lines with the top- rated "Casanova" line apparently being: "If you were on Stars In Their Eyes, who would you be?" Professor Wiseman said men were often accused of being shallow but that women may make their minds up much more quickly.

 PINNING A PICTURE OF CUT-OUT EYES TO A WALL MAKES YOU MORE LIKELY TO PAY INTO THE OFFICE KITTY

A cut-out of a staring pair of eyes was put above a kettle to assess its impact on freeloaders who don't contribute to the office tea-fund kitty. The ten-week project by the University of Newcastle upon Tyne's psychology department involved alternating the eye pictures with one of flowers then totting up cash left in the honesty box. When the staring eyes were in operation, takings were three times more. Researchers said the experiment showed how the brain reacts to images of faces and eyes and how people behave differently if they think they are being watched.

WOMEN DON'T GO FOR MEN WITH SQUEAKY VOICES WHEN LOOKING FOR A MATE BUT WILL GIVE THEM THE TIME OF DAY AT OTHER TIMES

Dr David Feinberg, of the University of St Andrews, found that during their fertile phase women want an "alpha male" who sounded like soul singer Barry White but the rest of the time homed in on men with "James Blunt" higher pitches whom they perceived as being more caring. Dr David Feinberg concluded: "While we normally think that masculine men are more out for one-night stands than marriage, our research suggests that highly attractive and feminine women can get these masculine men to look for commitment."

Gorillas Do It People-Style

This pair of wild western lowland gorillas (nicknamed George and Leah) have the distinction of providing the proof that “people-style” is an alternative to “doggie-style” among our nearest animal relatives. Other than bonobos, whose notorious sexual proclivities may have served as inspiration for the Kama Sutra.

NZ 'f-word' town censored on internet

August 01, 2008

 

THE New Zealand town of Whakatane has been censored in cyberspace because the pronunciation of the word is close to the f-word.

The censorship was uncovered when a visitor to the tourist town on the east coast of the North Island tried to connect to the local council's wireless service Freenet.
His internet searches for “Whakatane” were rejected, with the Freenet website offering the explanation that “the content is filtered so this service is for legitimate use”.
Whakatane District Council spokesman Barney Dzowa said the problem lay with the pronunciation of the town's name where the “wh” takes an “f” sound.
“The content filter is an American-based product, and it does a phonetic analysis of what has been typed in,” he said.
“Whakatane, to the system, sounds like an f-word.”
However, now that the problem has been discovered, the council has had the name added to a list of words capable of overriding the content filter.
AFP

The Australian

On our trip to New Zealand we found that some of the place names did sound a bit funny when pronounced correctly. One such place was Whakapapa Ski Field. Pronounced correctly it is said F***apapa.

Ogling Breasts Increases Men's Life Span

This is another hoax email that panders to the males. This nonexistent medical study touts the supposed benefits of men's preoccupation with breasts.

This is not a joke. It came from the New England Journal of Medicine.

Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out" declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.

Dr. Weatherby and fellow researchers at three hospitals in Frankfurt, Germany, reached the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so. The study revealed that after five years, the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates and fewer instances of coronary artery disease.

"Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves blood circulation," explains Dr. Weatherby. "There's no question: Gazing at breasts makes men healthier." "Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of stroke and heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years."

Decrease the Risk of Breast Cancer in Women

Technorati Tags: cancer,fellatio,hoax,joke

Web hoax / Joke

Since October 2003 a hoax email has been circulating claiming that women can decrease their risk of breast cancer by 'performing the act of fellatio on a regular basis'. I bet there is a lot of men out there that hope their partners are gullible enough to believe this one!

Study: Fellatio may significantly decrease the risk of breast cancer in women

Thursday, October 2, 2003 Posted: 9:19 AM EDT (1319 GMT)

(AP) -- Women who perform the act of fellatio on a regular basis, one to two times a week, may reduce their risk of breast cancer by up to 40 percent, a North Carolina State University study found.

Doctors had never suspected a link between the act of fellatio and breast cancer, but new research being performed at North Carolina State University is starting to suggest that there could be an important link between the two.

In a study of over 15,000 women suspected of having performed regular fellatio over the past ten years, the researchers found that those actually having performed the act regularly, one to two times a week, had a lower occurrence of breast cancer than those who had not. There was no increased risk, however, for those who did not regularly perform.

"I think it removes the last shade of doubt that fellatio is actually a healthy act," said Dr. B.J. Sooner of Johns Hopkins School of Medicine, who was not involved in the research. "I am surprised by these findings, but am also excited that the researchers may have discovered a relatively easy way to lower the occurrence of breast cancer in women."

The University researchers stressed that, though breast cancer is relatively uncommon, any steps taken to reduce the risk would be a wise decision.

"Only with regular performance will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Inserta Shafteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."

The study is reported in Friday's Journal of Medical Research.

In 1991, 43,582 women died of breast cancer, as reported by the National Cancer Institute.

Dr. Len Lictepeen, deputy chief medical officer for the American Cancer Society, said women should not overlook or "play down" these findings.

"This will hopefully change women's practice and patterns, resulting in a severe drop in the future number of cases," Lictepeen said.

Sooner said the research shows no increase in the risk of breast cancer in those who are, for whatever reason, not able to fellate regularly.

"There's definitely fertile ground for more research. Many have stepped forward to volunteer for related research now in the planning stages," he said.

Almost every woman is, at some point, going to perform the act of fellatio, but it is the frequency at which this event occurs that makes the difference, say researchers.

The research consisted of two groups, 6,246 women ages 25 to 45 who had performed fellatio on a regular basis over the past five to ten years, and 9,728 women who had not. The group of women who had performed fellatio had a breast cancer rate of 1.9 percent and the group who had not had a breast cancer rate of 10.4 percent.

"The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause."

Attack of the Penis Shrinkers!

7 killed in Ghana over 'penis-snatching' episodes

January 18, 1997
Web posted at: 3:00 p.m. EST (2000 GMT)

ACCRA, Ghana (CNN) -- Seven sorcerers who were accused of grabbing penises were beaten to death by angry mobs in the Ghana capital of Accra, police said. The capital is so chaotic the army may have to be called in to restore order.

According to police, two men were lynched Thursday and by Friday the death toll had risen to seven. Victims allege that the sorcerers touched them to make their genitals shrink or, in some cases, disappear to extort cash for the promise of a cure. Inspector General of Police Peter Nanfuri told state television he was prepared to call in the army.

So-called penis snatching reports are not uncommon in West Africa, where purported victims often blame penis shrinkage on handshakes with sorcerers. Residents recall a similar scare in Accra in the early 1980s.

Police and government officials dismiss the stories as the work of thieves, who police say spread rumours to create a crowd and then pick people's pockets.

Medical experts have appeared on state television explaining in detail why penises increase and decrease in size. One doctor linked the phenomenon to fear.

Reuters contributed to this report.

CNN World News

Outbreaks of magical "penis shrinking" or "penis snatching" are not uncommon in West Africa. At least some of the hysteria is blamed on ethnic hostilities, but psychologists also cite the lack of education among African males, widespread belief in black magic and the loss of personal identity "in the face of an increasingly complex world."

The power of magic is not taken lightly in this region, which retains strong folk traditions of witchcraft and shamanism. The practice of Voodoo, the hybrid religion that took root in Haiti hundreds of years ago via the slave trade, had its origins in West Africa and still thrives there. The ancient fear of genital-stealing magicians may be a cultural analog of the psychological disorder known as "Koro," or "delusions and acute fear of penis shrinkage."

Don't all men suffer from this to some extent?

Beijing Olympics unofficial live goldfish keyrings are cruel, say RSPCA

Telegraph

Animal welfare groups have described sales of live goldfish trapped inside unofficial Olympic merchandise in China as “shocking”.

Telegraph.co.uk

Do They Really Make That

gadgets

Weener Kleener Soap

You wanna be clean for your lady, right? Having trouble scrubbing down there? Fear no more, the Weener Kleener Soap is here!

Just a few quick strokes of the Weener Kleener will clean and sanitize most appendages. Not only does the Weener Kleener solve that age old bathing dilemma but it also adds a "hole" new dimension of pleasure to your shower or bath.

Good "clean" fun for couples too!

Available at Baron Bob

BANANA GUARD - Protect Your Banana!

Are you fed up with bringing bananas to work or school only to find them bruised and squashed? Banana Guard allows you to safely transport and storage individual bananas letting you enjoy perfect bananas anytime, anywhere.

Buy it here

Wi-Fi Detector Shirt

Wi-Fi Signal Status for You and the World!

At ThinkGeek they expect their gadgets to do all the busywork while they focus on the high level important tasks like reading blogs. That's why they hate to have to crack open their laptops just to see if there are any wi-fi Internet access about... and keychain wi-fi detectors, they would have to actually remove them from their pockets to look at them. But now thanks to the ingenious ThinkGeek robot monkeys you can display the current wi-fi signal strength to yourself and everyone around you with this stylish Wi-Fi Detector Shirt. The glowing bars on the front of the shirt dynamically change as the surrounding wi-fi signal strength fluctuates. Finally you can get the attention you deserve as others bow to you as their reverential wi-fi god, while geeky chicks swoon at your presence.

Think Geek

Sat Nag

The Sat Nag is the greatest in-car invention since the Sat Nav. Actually no, it's better than a Sat Nav, and even if it's guaranteed to get you nowhere fast, it's one of those jokes that just keeps on giving. Press the button on the front and a very well-recorded, patronising woman's voice will come out with one of a host of hysterical Sat Nav-type commands. With such crackers as: "I know you're a man, but it's been 35 minutes now, so can you please admit you're lost and ask someone the way"; and "In 100 metres turn left. No right, err, no left. Sorry, I never can tell my left from my right", as well as "In 50 meters I'm going to put on my most annoying voice and say 'Is your short cut really faster when we get stuck in traffic like this, well, is it darling?" and "In 100 meters I'm going to talk to you in that special voice, which should let you know you've upset me in some way that is bound to be your fault".

Find it here

Durex Condoms

Thought these condom ads/art were done very well.

Smoking gun

We all know smoking is bad for our health, but this is such a cool knick knack. It could be making a statement that smoking is just a slower way of killing yourself or that your just a real bad ass.

Bad Taste bears

10 reasons to eat chocolate

You might think chocolate is sinful, but it’s a lot better for you than you think. In fact, it has been used for hundreds of years by medical professionals to cure ailments such as tuberculosis, gout, fatigue, diarrhea, weak digestion, hemorrhoids, low virility, and shortness of breath.
Recent nutritional research has identified many health benefits of chocolate. After reviewing these studies, I came up with the following ten reasons why you need to consume more chocolate.
1. Reduces high blood pressure - flavonoids in cocoa (procyanids) help balance blood pressure and reduce blood clotting. Researchers from Germany’s University Hospital of Cologne found that cocoa consumption lowered blood pressure by an average of 4.7/2.8 mm Hg. The New York Times reported that dark chocolate is almost as effective at lowering blood pressure as common antihypertensive drugs.
2. Improves blood flow to brain - a University of Nottingham professor found that drinking cocoa drinks rich in flavanols improves blood flow to key areas of the brain for two to three hours. Flavanols in the cocoa drink are a key ingredient of dark chocolate. Professor Macdonald’s study also suggested that cocoa flavanols in chocolate may enhance brain function to help fight sleep deprivation, fatigue, and the effects of ageing.
3. Boosts mood - MSNBC reported that caffeine and other chemicals in dark chocolate can improve your mood and ease premenstrual symptoms. Mark’s Daily Apple wrote that the chemical phenylethylamine in chocolate has been found to trigger feelings similar to “falling in love.”
4. Prevents cell damage and 5. Improves blood sugar levels - Lisa C. Cohn, R.D., President of the Park Avenue Nutrition Spa in NYC, wrote that flavonoids in pure dark chocolate are responsible for these added benefits. Cohn said, “if you’re going to indulge on Feb. 14 or any other day, go for the purest dark chocolate you can find. That’s the kind loaded with flavonoids…”
6. Reduces risk of heart attack - a researcher from the John Hopkins University School of Medicine said that eating a few squares of dark chocolate every day may reduce your risk of dying from a heart attack by almost 50%. The study found that blood platelets clotted slower in people who eat chocolate.
7. Helps ease chronic fatigue syndrome - a study found that adults with chronic fatigue syndrome who eat 1.5 ounces of 85% cocoa dark chocolate were less fatigued after they eat chocolate.
8. Raises HDL cholesterol and lowers LDL cholesterol - a Penn State study found that diets high in cocoa powder and dark chocolate (with high flavonoid content) are related to lower LDL (bad) cholesterol levels when compared with diets low in flavonoids such as tea, wine, coffee, and onions.
9. Improves processing of blood sugar - an Italian study found that dark chocolate consumption increased the body’s metabolism of blood sugar and may reduce the risk of diabetes.
10. Eases a persistent cough - a UK study found that theobromine, a component in cocoa, may be more effective as a cough medicine than standard drug treatments. The research showed that “theobromine acts on the sensory nerve endings of the vagus nerve, which runs through the airways in the lungs to the brain.”
Many chocolates can be high in calories, sugar, and saturated fat. To maximize the health benefits of chocolate, avoid eating processed chocolate products that have refined sugar and milk fat.
Instead, choose the purest dark chocolate you can find - the more raw and unprocessed, the higher the flavonoid content. The best dark chocolate to eat has at least 60% cocoa solids.

crazy cats

Hello

Hi there this will be my place to share things that I find funny, unusual, amazing or just have a rant.